Thoughts While on the Bus It is true that there are men out there who find only women under 30 attractive. It is no surprise that men of all ages would find those women attractive. Our culture reveres youth and a firm, ripe body! So while there are men that believe what our culture tells them they should find attractive, there are men who find older women attractive, to the exclusion of younger women. And then, there are the men who find women of all ages attractive. I once dated a guy who was 46 years to my 23. He supported me on $1200 a week. Lee is one of those men who prefer young women. He was married (still is), but he and his wife were (and are) no longer intimate. She has a boyfriend who lives in their house. I met her while I was dating Lee. However, she has a degenerate spinal disease, and he promised her that he would always take care of her, as they are best friends, he loves her, and has the means to take care of her. He was good to me, so what is the problem? Why does money or our ages make it a problem? The whole point of consenting adults is that you are old enough to decide to whom you would like to share your sexuality! And what is wrong with someone making orders of magnitude more money sharing it with the girl h's dating? Getting moralistic about this has no logic for me. Knowing the situation I see nothing cheap or negative about my dating him. It is probably true that the men who prefer younger women are numbered more than any other group. It's not surprising given our culture. However, there are other men out there who believe otherwise. They are the men for me. Specifically, there is one of these men that I know, and he is my husband. He always tells me that he will always find me attractive and want to make love to me, and I believe it. He loves me, and it's something I very much appreciate. Not many people out there get to have someone love them so much. It's a great gift. There is nothing wrong with love and devotion coming from a man. He is still a man. (insert naughty grin here) On the marriage builder's website there is a thorough discussion of emotional needs. People need different things from each other. Mike and I talked about what our needs were. It was so nice to hear his. I thought, "Oh, he really likes this and this, and doing them makes him happy." And then, I realized that I love to receive admiration. At first, I was thinking, "What? No way! How silly! What a crock of shit, to need admiration." But when I read the description of admiration in a relationship, that sounded very true for me. A kind word will make me feel very good, while harsh criticism makes me feel very bad. Mike knows that he only has to say simply if something is bothering him, and I will do my best to improve, even if I'm grouchy about it at first. |