Sore Throat Again I'm sick again, or rather, my sore throat from last week never went away, and now is flaring up again along with a stuffy nose. I'm exhausted. I've been hanging out with my little boy, and he is the coolest. It's rare for us to have time just me and him. He talks and eats things he shouldn't, then gets angry when I fish them out of his mouth. He turns one year on April 23. I still have issues with his birth. I would give anything to go back to the labor and actually do what I felt I needed to do, instead of being such a fucking wimp. What happened to my faith in labor, huh? At funerals they always say the deceased said he or she didn't have any regrets. I'm not sure what is intended by that. Maybe that means the person always did what felt right. Well, I have shitloads of regret. There are so many different events and times I wish I could go back to and do differently. I haven't been updating because I feel extremely negative, and I didn't want to bitch all the time. On the other hand, this is my journal, so I should be able to do that. The fact remains, however, that I want people to read me and noone likes a downer. I have my written journal for that, but I find these days that I don't have the patience to make an entry. When I'm at work I work, and it's hard to write on the bus, and it's rare for me to write at home. I'm home now. The dishes and laundry need to be done. My oldest daughter decided to do Easter with her dad and his girl friend (not dating girlfriend, they are friends who are exes). I'll miss making a basket with her and dying eggs and especially watching her try to find the eggs that the "Easter Bunny" left for her. I will still get to do this with my younger daughter, though, so that will be fun. When my boy is tired he pulls on his curls. I love his curls. Last night I was in bed crying. My husband came into the room, and lying next to me felt next to my eyes for tears. I had dried them when he came in, so he wouldn't know I had been crying. I wonder how he knew to check for tears. I guess it's obvious I'm having a hard time; I've never been one to be able to hide my feelings. Husband is home. Bye. |