Preparation for my oral presentation I'm taking fluorescence measurements again. It just wouldn't be me if I didn't have work to do right up to the end of my deadline. It's funny. I feel it is a deadline. Dead. In a way this will be a death, because after this is done, something new is beginning. I suspect I will pass, and if I do that will make it even more so a new beginning. There won't be this heavy requirement hanging over my head. I won't have to work six days a week. I will have time to play with my kiddos. I miss them! If I don't pass, then I will be equally busy until the middle of December, writing my dissertation. Oh hell, I hope that doesn't happen. My presentation begins tomorrow at 10:30 am, and goes until noon. Please wish me luck. Or better, wish me eloquence and clarity of thought. That will serve me better than luck. I am so nervous. I am so much work to do. Do you think I will get any sleep? Probably not. *sigh* I didn't want that to happen, but there is always so much more work to be done. Just once I would like to feel that I have done a good job. I know that adding so much right before my presentaion will weaken my ability to present well. There is still so much to learn and understand, and the things that I have learned recently are not engrained in my mind, so I fear I won't be able to recall everything I need to tomorrow. I just wish I had enough time to practice my talk again and again, so that when it comes time to speak, there are no ums, no hesitations, only confidence. How do you speak confidently when you are unsure of yourself? You grow a penis. God knows these guys can be spewing complete bullshit, but you're tempted to believe it because they just say it with such conviction! I, on the other hand, see all the holes and missing pieces to my answer, and you can hear it in my voice. Maybe I just need to confident in the pieces I know, and don't worry about the holes unless someone asks me abou them? I can think about it all night, but it's not going to matter tomorrow. I will be nervous as hell, you can count on it, but I am going to go over my talk a few times, and since I have written out exactly what I want to say for each slide, I have that to fall back on. Let's just say I appreciate the presenter's layout in Keynote 2 on my Apple PowerBook. Okay, my last sample is almost done running, so I had better get back to work. Keep me in your thoughts; this talk represents some of the most difficult work I've done! |